#515.
I'd be lying if I said I knew what you should have done. I just know that what you did today would have been better off being gone about in a different way.


I'm crying now. It's got no direct link to me but right now I'm trying to vent this out, and crying. I'm worried because she looked so distressed when we left, and I'm scared she's going to do something irrational. And as much as I know she's smarter, she knows better than to do something stupid, I'm worried.
I'm not even just worried about what will happen now, I'm worried about what it may snowball into in the future. Then it affects me. I hate how when she's scared of it all, you go and tell her these things, these selfish things that you think no one else feels, when in reality, she probably feels it just as much, if not more so than you.


Why did you choose today. You chose today when she had no one else to go to, when she was alone, when she felt like she had double the load to do it to her. You realise that she has so much responsibility. Don't you dare say that you're young and you don't. Shouldn't your responsibility be in the least to hold her hand, if not, cheer her on through these times when she feels as if she's on the brink of losing it all? I want to call her and ask her if everything's okay and tell her that it is. But that's not the kind of relationship we have. If it were, maybe I would have hugged her when I saw her about to cry as she shut the door and made sure it was locked.


Don't be all poetic about it. Don't tell us it isn't your responsibility. Even if you do, why did you have to say it so bluntly. She must feel so abandoned, I hate that you've done that to her. She may not seem soft but she feels just as much as we do. She feels hurt and worry and abandonment and I'm scared those feelings may cause something serious. I'm hoping this is just another one of those phases. Like it always is. But right now I wish she'd just come home and make herself some noodles and climb into her bed. Maybe I'll even offer her a massage. I want things to just go back to normal. 
Whatever normal means.

Hello, this is Tien. This blog is the remains of the unconventional cliches and angsty phrases of my teenage years. (Plus a new one every now and then)
I ♥ Phoenix, (500) days of summer, double entendres, unmade beds, autumn, Chopin, syncopated melodies, G7 chords and things that make me feel.

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