#528.
I'm not usually up at this time of night. Which is kind of strange now that I think about it. But I sort of cried myself to sleep last night straight after work, way too early. It was around five I think. Got up to take a shower about ten minutes ago and am not impressed to find that my eyes have puffed up and I have an extra eyelid crease.


Anyway. That was perfect, wasn't it. It always is when you dump all of that bullshit on me. Everything 'other people's children' apparently do. Because everyone is well behaved and has half a mind unlike me. I'm stupid, inconsiderate, selfish, incoherent and don't give a fuck about anyone but myself. That's what you've been saying isn't it?
It's so hard to exist with you. I don't say live because this is barely living. I've never been enough, and I'm starting to wonder what is. What the fuck do you want me to do? You've never, since who knows when given me a compliment. You've never enforced my sense of confidence. All you ever fucking do is put me down and tell me what I'm doing wrong or what I should be doing. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I have to do in order to get this right. To be right by you.


I don't think you know that after you say those things that I go and cry. According to you, I'm a heartless spawn of someone else and it's just your bad luck that you have to spend all your money on me when I give you nothing in return.
I don't know what else to say.
I feel so lost.
And alone.

Hello, this is Tien. This blog is the remains of the unconventional cliches and angsty phrases of my teenage years. (Plus a new one every now and then)
I ♥ Phoenix, (500) days of summer, double entendres, unmade beds, autumn, Chopin, syncopated melodies, G7 chords and things that make me feel.

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