#475.
I didn't even make it to my room before breaking down today.

It's gotten to the point where I find myself taking it out on others. I don't mean to be this upset. It's just I can't say it in a way you'll understand. Presently, it's not even finding what's bad about everything and isolating it from the rest of your life, it's looking for whatever few good things are left and trying to base your happiness on them. It's hard, I tell you, it really is.

I don't know what else is left. Right now, I want to just drop everything and focus on one thing. I don't even care what it is, my logic has become twisted beyond recognition and I've somehow worked out that I don't need anything. If I can stay focused enough on one thing then nothing else will matter. The only contradiction to that thought is if it were that simple, why hasn't it been done before.

I really hate everything and I wish you would just come along and not give me any of that shit you call conversation today. I want you to just talk to me, and say a thousand things that you hope will make me feel better and maybe one of those will hit the spot.
But then again maybe I don't know what I want. After all, I don't even know why I'm crying anymore. I don't need space, I need you. I need you and your army of nice words and sweet sentiments. I need affection. Everything is falling apart and in the state I am in only enables me to push you away. I wish you'd fight back. I wish you'd tell me to shutup and make me feel better.

That's it. I wish I could feel better.

Hello, this is Tien. This blog is the remains of the unconventional cliches and angsty phrases of my teenage years. (Plus a new one every now and then)
I ♥ Phoenix, (500) days of summer, double entendres, unmade beds, autumn, Chopin, syncopated melodies, G7 chords and things that make me feel.

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