#247.

K nice mum you freaking just have to find a way to blame it on him. Everything that's wrong at the moment is because of him right? Wow. So none of this, not even a single ounce of what's gone wrong so far is even a little bit your fault? All you do is talk about how bad he is, how much bullshit he's gotten us into. Well, you do realise that he's gotten us out of a lot of bullshit too. He's fixed up your fuck ups, leaving no time for his own. Thanks mum.

I feel an intense pang of loneliness. Earlier you said you'd be gone within the week, and it took a lot of what I had not to just break down and cry right there. I know it's not like you're walking out forever, but it's close. I don't know how often I'll get to see you, on top of how little I already see you now. Mum says she doesn't want you working at the cafe anymore.. Really? Can't you at least try to sort yourself out a little, for the sake of us. I don't want to lose you. I really don't. K cool I'm crying.

I want to write more but I know that it's a little useless trying to think through the tears. I may come back later. But then again I may not. I hope what you said was just another one of those sentences that have no real meaning but are just words strung together. Like the ones you've been telling mum. If I had it my way, you'd be with us until you were twenty five. I'm so dependent on you, if you hadn't realised. And I don't know what I'd do without you.

I don't exactly know how but that applies. And all of you, back the fuck off and quit bitching about him when you don't even know what you're talking about half the time.

Yes. I am defensive of my brother. Do you need to ask why? It's because I fucking love the bat fastard.