oh, joy

I would've post this last night, but I felt like I was blogging too much..

Posted Thursday, August 19, 2010 // 0 comments (+)

#198.
Last night you surprised me.
I usually don't start with you even if I want to, unless there's something incredibly important or such at stake, and even then, I go to hesitate.
It's not that you're not a nice person, it's not that you're intimidating. It's what you used to be that scares me so much.

So yes, um, you started me, saying you'd "read my mail," for a split second, I thought.. What mail.. Then I remembered. A week before Valentine's day this year, I sent you an email. At the time, it sounded like a wonderful idea. Getting everything that I should have said the day we went our seperate ways out there, and to you. By that point, I was as over you as a cow over the moon (not at all) and I thought maybe a bit of literary therapy would calm my nerves after a year of depression, poems and depressing love songs.

Thing is, I imagined in my mind that you'd already read it after I sent it to you, and when you started talking to me again this year, I assumed you just chose not to speak about it in order to spare my embarrassment. Turns out that you didn't read it until last night. You didn't over react or anything which is lovely. But when I asked you to please forget about it (because rereading it, it sounded like I was freaking on meds or something) you said, "I can't forget about it right away, darls," and that was really weird. You then asked me if I stood by what I said in the letter, and I complied.

Then you spammed me with winks and knock knock jokes and I went to sleep. Funny the way things work out. This is jsut a reminded to never do such a stupid thing as send a heartfelt email to someone again. Cause it just sounds incredibly creepy. Okay! That will be all!

I just thought that was rather humorous.