#181.
At this present moment I feel somewhat strangely wedged in between depressed, pissed off and happy. It just feels so completely fucked up it is not even funny. Lately I've been all over the place. Been staying up late, talking it out with K, to no avail. Everything seems really repetitive and I am breaking out like mad. So. Not. Cool.

But I don't know. I guess it's just being a teenager, maybe I'm supposed to feel like this. Maybe this emotional hurricane is just apart of life, rather than related to you, as I may have thought it to be. I mean sure, I feel jealous as hell right now, and nobody likes a jealous little twat, but I can't help myself. All I want right now, is to calm the fuck down, and move out of this really shit phase of my life. It is brief and I would like to keep it that way.

So anyway. I hope you don't think about me. Because although I spend most of my time thinking about how I fucked it up again, I don't want you to linger on thoughts of me because that will probably just lead to the same thing all over again. We knew that this was wrong from the start, and I am still trying to figure out why we won't just give it the fuck up. I don't know. I would ask you but that would require making conversation to fill in the awkward silences we create. We, no, you and I (as individuals, not as a collective) should just forget everything about each other and pretend this never happened. Because if we don't, you and I both know that this isn't going to end up pretty.

So why the fuck do I keep wanting you?

Hello, this is Tien. This blog is the remains of the unconventional cliches and angsty phrases of my teenage years. (Plus a new one every now and then)
I ♥ Phoenix, (500) days of summer, double entendres, unmade beds, autumn, Chopin, syncopated melodies, G7 chords and things that make me feel.

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