oh, joy

Posted Wednesday, July 7, 2010 // 0 comments (+)

#112.
I guess I've been saying how much I miss you and how much I want you to talk to me and how much I hate it when you go away without saying anything. There are times when I realise it's not worth the trouble, you know. I don't want to say anything in this post that I'll later regret, but let's just say, this is going to be a long post.

The fob.
There's been this chick I've been hanging out with lately. Not by choice. She's my mother's boyfriend's niece. She's from Vietnam and I haven't directly nor purposely spoken english to her. She's nice, she's okay, I guess. But she hardly talks. It's so awkward around her, I'll be talking like a freaking retard trying to keep a bloody conversation going, but she'll just sit there. It's like she's constantly trying to end our conversation with one word answers. I dunno, maybe I'm just uncool to her or something.

You.
I don't even know if I want to talk to you out of love, or out of habit. I'm dead confused about you. Maybe I'm just looking for some sort of attention from you because you're something I used to aim so high for. But most of these past few days, our conversations have ended up very. Well. Let's just say l**** (for me to know only). Why couldn't you talk to me about these kinds of things when we were together, you're cracking more of theose lines to me now than ever. But I guess it's only when you feel like talking to me, jack ass.

Everything else.
So much on my mind lately. Don't really know where to start, where to go from there, or where to even begin concluding my train of thought. But what I do know, is that I am currently stress free. Shut the hell up and leave me be for now. When I start getting stressed, you can add to my snowball, but for now, shut the fucking hell up. Orrrright.