oh, joy

Posted Wednesday, June 2, 2010 // 0 comments (+)

#57.
Oh my freaking gosh, I've just spent the previous three hours doing an assignment to the point that my ears hurt from wearing glasses. And now, when I look back, I get excited. Not excited over the fact that I finished my assignment (although, that's pretty awesome) but over the fact that throughout those three hours, I barely had one thought of you in my head. I was focused. But I don't know if I'm quite ready to get over you, after all, I don't want to break it off completely. Disregarding the fact that I originally thought exes can't be friends unless there's some kind of amazing miracle. Maybe we can make a miracle happen if we keep at it.
So anyway, I decided instead of a big long ramble, today I'd post another poem. That'd be my third. I haven't written any as of lately, so again, this one's from a while ago. I should really start writing again.. Kinda miss it. Anyway, I'll shutup and get on with the poem;

So, just like that, it's gone?
I wanna say it's your fault,
For overthinking it.
But deep, somewhere deep,
I kind of know it was definite and unavoidable.
The eventuality of it all..
What now, do we just play it out?
What else can we do..?
I just love you so freaking much.
That's probably why it hurts like it does.

Ahaha, I just realized.
Just when I got used to it.
There aren't going to be any more
'babe's or cute, goodmorning texts.
The slow growth of a relationship,
takes this, just this, to send it tumbling down, so easily.
It's only been twenty minutes,
and I already miss what we had.

Can't help but think that this
Can all be blamed on him.
If I'd never said anything, would it have worked out this way?
So insignificant at the time,
I had to watch as it blew up to ruin 'us'.

I only ever stayed up late to talk to you.
But now, it seems almost pointless.
To stay up, while you have a dozen other people you'd rather talk to,
rather than waste your time entertaining me.
I don't want to seem like I've given up.
But honestly, where do we go from here?

Okaaaaay. That was a really shitty one. But I flipped to a random page of my 'poems' book, and that one jumped out at me. I don't like it, not cryptic enough. But I guess it'll do for today's post. Before I start crying, I'll end this post.
- Be conscious while loving. Feel the love as a conscious being. Don't just let it slip by in a blur, because you'll regret it when it's over.